No more excuses, nothing, nothing to do but go sailing.

Its Wednesday, very early Wednesday morning, and I unable to sleep am wondering what it is like to be heading off in the morning to sail 2300 NM all by my self. What is it like, I am wondering, because I am not really sure, despite being in the middle of the experience. I think I am anxious, a little fearful, a little confused. The only thing I am sure about, oddly, is this; there is nothing else in the world I want to be doing tomorrow than walking back down the dock after a civilized breakfast at the Bali Yacht club and getting on the boat and heading out to sea on a three week trade wind passage. All by myself. 'All by myself' seems to be the thing. All by myself. Isn't that the thing that is what being born into this life is about. Sure we are born to mothers, loving mothers, fathers, maybe some siblings, but, still it is basically a solo experience. Like being naked. Naked we are born into our lives, naked and alone we go out. Everything else is an illusion. Might as well try sailing this way.

My romance is that this is going to be the most significant experience of my life. Will this be true? Time only well tell.

I was standing on the deck after midnight, listening to water running out of the hose into the water tanks as I snuck some unmetered water after all the staff have gone home for the night. The marina at night is mostly about shadows and shapes, and quiet. No wind, no voices. Nobody walking about. Just silent floating boats. Black and whites, and greys, and curving lines of boat sides and deck lines. Standing there looking over Conversations deck lines, I though this boat is like a train, a night train. So long and lean, I imagine her in 24 hours driving through the night seas, split by her sharp bows and shouldered aside. In my vision, I am standing somewhere aft looking forward, hanging on for dear life, wondering at the power and beauty of such a huge boat and water and of being so alone.

So if you have been following along, you will have guessed since the last post, the engine has been repaired. Still not perfect, but good enough to do the job. The boat is now fully provisioned with some fresh as well as staple foods, the water and fuel tanks are full to the brim, all the tools are packed up, the boat vacuumed and tided up for sea. She is ready and so am I. I guess, I am. I am, I guess. I am. I guess.

Cresswell