me outside to finish off the bottle Tasso so graciously provided for us. "It would be a shame to waste," I said to myself trying to justify my urge to feel the true effects of Kava for the first time. As you all know we've tried it before, but had experienced little, if any effect. We ventured outside the restaurant with grins on our faces anticipating what we've heard all about the Kava experience both knowing deep down that this stuff was somehow different, somehow more potent. I looked at
the remaining "grog," as the Fijians call it, and of course offered the first bowl to the Captain. He slugged it back with a slight grimace on his face, reached for the remaining half-eaten watermelon to clear the horrid taste from his mouth, chewed, swallowed and that was the end of it. Tasso then rinsed the bowl, and proceeded by pouring every last drop back into it and handing it to me. Still feeling nothing but a weak buzz and a strong sense of excitement I looked down at the much larger portion,
drank the bowl clean, reached for what was probably the same half-eaten chunk of watermelon, had a bite, chewed for a moment and spit the chewed remnants onto the grass. I gave Tasso a generous pat on the back and Cress a slight smile as we ventured back into the restaurant to enjoy our massive feast. This sit down was a little different...
I sat down in the Paradise Sunset Bungalow's restaurant looking down at the massive meal that Jan described in her last post feeling extremely good after a few beers and the second generous helping of Kava. Dennis, Rita, Jan, and Bob had their plates full of the delicious looking lobster, sweet potatoes and rice, and had already begun feasting while the Captain and I were outside drinking the local delight. As I mentioned before, the first bowl of Kava had little to no effect but the second one
hit me like a freight train. The immediate effect sent me into a frenzy, my head was spinning and everything was blurry, as if I were looking thru a piece of stained glass. I peered across the table at my partner in crime, thinking that he might be feeling the same dizzying sensations, shrugged it off, and continued on trying to get the succulent lobster dinner onto my plate. "How do I get this out?" I asked Leitare, Tasso's daughter. She looked at me in only what I can think was a disapproving
manner, reached for the lobster I was struggling with and effortlessly de-shelled the entire half and graciously placed it on my plate. "tsshank yoouu" I muttered in my increasingly slurred tone. The sensation was overwhelmingly strong now, and getting stronger by the second. Trying to regain my senses I quickly slurred out a request for Jan to pass me the rest of the dishes and quickly flung what I thought were good sized portions onto my plate. My plate was full and I was ready to eat. This
proved incredibly difficult as now I was beginning to see two of everything. I saw all the food on my plate but just couldn't process what I was supposed to do with it. I knew I was supposed to eat it, I had done this several times before but I just couldn't make sense of it all. The Kava sensation was reaching new heights. I peered around the table one more time and slurred to everyone, "I'm messhed up."
I was briefly entranced by Tasso's selection of music playing in the background and all the sights and sounds around me. I looked over at the speakers and two TV's (there was only one and I thought it was quite strange that the second one was floating in mid-air) glanced around at my surroundings noticing a flurry of colors and shapes. "You're not eating anything," Dennis said with four eyes, bringing me out of my dream like trance. Oh yes, the food. I had forgotten for what seemed like hours
that I had a glorious looking plate of food sitting in front of me. I picked up my knife and fork like a first timer ready to dig in. "How does this go again?" I asked myself. I tried my heart out to bring the half-lobster into focus, slice a portion off, bring it up to my mouth, chew and swallow. SUCCESS!!! Bite number one went down with what I thought was great ease. (It turns out I was trying to cut the plate the first two of three attempts) "Oh yeah...the garlic butter, I can't forget that,"
I slurred, "Jan can you pass me the garlic butter please?" The next bite, which was glazed with the 'boat-made' garlic butter (we had to bring our own), was much tastier than the first. I proceeded to drizzle some of the garlicy goodness onto the remaining lobster and thought it would go nice on the rice as well. Things were getting easier, only it took me five times longer to do everything but I was doing it! The sensation was still accelerating like a Mustang and I was wondering when it would
plateau. I had to pee and noticed that Cress was getting up as well. I decided to sit back and observe how he was to get from his seat to the washroom without falling over as every little thing everyone was doing grew increasingly more intriguing and difficult to comprehend. After a successful attempt by the captain I decided to try it myself. I got up slowly, holding onto my chair, and the next chair and the next until I was confident I could walk. I was growing a deep admiration for the Captain's
ability to do this so well just seconds earlier, as I was struggling immensely. I stumbled to the door after a quick few steps from the last chair and I was now out in the night trying to navigate the most simple route to the toilet. I knew from past experience that toilet number 1 was on the left of a small building just outside the restaurant. When I got to the toilet, which was occupied by Cress, I realised I had to find another option quickly. I decided to pee in the bush, which was actually
an open section of grass and most likely a path of some kind. (I knew there was a second toilet behind me but this just seemed like the easier of the two options) I made my way back to my seat and to my bewilderment there was a full plate still sitting in front of me. "You haven't eaten anything!" Dennis said again. "I know," I muttered to myself and was ever more determined to overcome this gut rot and eat like I had never eaten before. I feasted for what seemed like days but the food wasn't
leaving my plate. Bite after bite, taste sensation after taste sensation. I was doing it. Growing increasingly bored of the food on my plate, after the lobster was gone, I decided to move onto the fruit kabobs. They were delicious and with the array of shapes and colors, extremely fun to eat. The "high" had now begun to subside and everything was beginning to seem much easier, the surrounding less and less doubled and the tapioca meringue pie staring at me across the table. Feeling incredibly
full, and incredibly ill, I decided I'd have to try a piece, as Tasso and his family had worked so hard to prepare everything for us. Delicious, and a great end to one of the most memorable meals I've ever had.
Being able to walk now we made our way to the dingy and back to the boat saying goodbye to the land that had treated us so well the previous weeks, to start our three week journey to Darwin. I hope you've enjoyed the Kava experience from the doer opposed to the observer as Dennis wrote about. It was a remarkable experience and I recommend it for everyone. I'd say skip the Fijian Kava and go straight to Lamen Bay, Vanuatu. Talk to Tasso and he'll take care of the rest. Make sure you wait a little
bit after the first bowl or you'll experience what I did above.
Feeling better and seeing straight,
Matt
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